Wow if Maria Shriver is lonely then you are definitely right that there has to be so many more lonely people then I ever imagined.
Zibby you are the greatest connector of people. I would love to read some books fiction and memoir about older people dealing with their loneliness (with happy endings).
“I’ve always read to prepare myself for what’s coming next or to cope with what I’m going through now, not as much where I was.” Love this, and I relate to it deeply. Vivian Gornick’s The Odd Woman and the City, Joan Didion’s Year of Magical Thinking, and Deborah Levy’s memoirs speak to me more profoundly now than memoirs by younger women, which I can still enjoy but which just don’t resonate the same way. I read books across ages, genders, and genres, but always come back to books by women older than I am.
As life accumulates, some memoirs feel so low-stakes that it can be hard to relate. I look back at my own essays from my twenties and thirties and think how little I really understood about what life could throw one’s way. My forthcoming novel started five years ago as a thriller inspired by my experience at the embassy in Paris and over time shaped up to also be a book about PTSD.
I loved this piece. Many of us spend our time caretaking and when the job is over, are lost. I am enjoying my own company at the moment after a long term marriage dissolved. My women friends, 10-15 years older, are navigating health concerns, being alone, as well as financial difficulties. I tried to start a group for women and didn't have any bites. We get tired and choose a night in instead of reaching out. My mother just lost her husband, my dad, after 73 years together. Her daughter, my sister, who was a constant in our lives, died 3 days later. It is part of life, and it is just one story in the web of our interconnectedness. There is great power in knowing we all have similar needs and wants and can find others if we are willing and able to point our energy in that direction.
Beautiful essay Zibby. You do provide so many ways for people to connect and find meaning amongst the crazy world we live in! Thank you for all you do.
zibby you hit the nail right on my head! Living a life with meaning is where I find myself whether in conversation or my work as a psychotherapist. Listening to stories every day from patients who were first strangers to me, I am now their confident. The most intimate conversations and relationship that most people do not have with a "close" friend or partner. My husband with Alzheimers, though highly functioning, independent, has gone almost silent and can no longer engage in conversation so my own longing for those deeper connections with friends is so meaningful and adds so much value to my life and to our longevity. Thank you for inspiring THIS conversation preempted by Maria's reflections.
I am sorry about your husband's condition. You do bring up a very interesting point. Our long term relatives and loved ones may shift their roles in our lives due to circumstances beyond their control. You seem very strong. I wish you continued strength and blessings and lots of yummy, heart felt, warm conversations with like minded friends.
Zibby, I love how you connect people - even when you aren’t there. Your bookshop has a party going on every day where I meet the most interesting people. Your retreats are such a blast and your parties unforgettable. Thank you for all you do to fill my life with the most inspiring people and discussions with subject that make my world expand.
Wow if Maria Shriver is lonely then you are definitely right that there has to be so many more lonely people then I ever imagined.
Zibby you are the greatest connector of people. I would love to read some books fiction and memoir about older people dealing with their loneliness (with happy endings).
This is brilliantly done and relatable for so many reasons.
Oh my gosh, Zibby, thank you for including my book as part of this beautiful post. Another wonderful connection.
Loved this Zibby 💗
The early empty nest years lead to harder years, if we don't find a way to a new way to seek contentment.
“I’ve always read to prepare myself for what’s coming next or to cope with what I’m going through now, not as much where I was.” Love this, and I relate to it deeply. Vivian Gornick’s The Odd Woman and the City, Joan Didion’s Year of Magical Thinking, and Deborah Levy’s memoirs speak to me more profoundly now than memoirs by younger women, which I can still enjoy but which just don’t resonate the same way. I read books across ages, genders, and genres, but always come back to books by women older than I am.
As life accumulates, some memoirs feel so low-stakes that it can be hard to relate. I look back at my own essays from my twenties and thirties and think how little I really understood about what life could throw one’s way. My forthcoming novel started five years ago as a thriller inspired by my experience at the embassy in Paris and over time shaped up to also be a book about PTSD.
Zibby, this is so relatable; thank you. And thanks for the shout-out for Dog Person. Can't wait to listen to the episode later this week!
I loved this piece. Many of us spend our time caretaking and when the job is over, are lost. I am enjoying my own company at the moment after a long term marriage dissolved. My women friends, 10-15 years older, are navigating health concerns, being alone, as well as financial difficulties. I tried to start a group for women and didn't have any bites. We get tired and choose a night in instead of reaching out. My mother just lost her husband, my dad, after 73 years together. Her daughter, my sister, who was a constant in our lives, died 3 days later. It is part of life, and it is just one story in the web of our interconnectedness. There is great power in knowing we all have similar needs and wants and can find others if we are willing and able to point our energy in that direction.
Beautiful essay Zibby. You do provide so many ways for people to connect and find meaning amongst the crazy world we live in! Thank you for all you do.
Great writing and so informative on all fronts. Thank you Zibby for always bringing the excellent.
Great piece and what a nice picture of you and your mom.
zibby you hit the nail right on my head! Living a life with meaning is where I find myself whether in conversation or my work as a psychotherapist. Listening to stories every day from patients who were first strangers to me, I am now their confident. The most intimate conversations and relationship that most people do not have with a "close" friend or partner. My husband with Alzheimers, though highly functioning, independent, has gone almost silent and can no longer engage in conversation so my own longing for those deeper connections with friends is so meaningful and adds so much value to my life and to our longevity. Thank you for inspiring THIS conversation preempted by Maria's reflections.
I am sorry about your husband's condition. You do bring up a very interesting point. Our long term relatives and loved ones may shift their roles in our lives due to circumstances beyond their control. You seem very strong. I wish you continued strength and blessings and lots of yummy, heart felt, warm conversations with like minded friends.
Zibby, I love how you connect people - even when you aren’t there. Your bookshop has a party going on every day where I meet the most interesting people. Your retreats are such a blast and your parties unforgettable. Thank you for all you do to fill my life with the most inspiring people and discussions with subject that make my world expand.