Thank you for sharing this. It will be very helpful to many people. I will point out that there is quite a lot involved in dealing with the mortuary after someone has died -- which may include buying a casket, plot and/or crypt. That is why it is so much easier if people do pre-planning so their mourning loved ones do not have to figure out the other issues in addition to your already challenging list. And as distressing as it may be, at least in California, there are mortuaries which have the cheaper caskets and the more expensive caskets in different rooms. People who pre-plan are taken into both rooms. If a family comes in to choose a casket when there has been no pre-planning and their loved one has died, they only get taken into the room with the expensive caskets.
I also want to mention how I thought your love letter to/about Howard after his death was magnificent. Thank you so much for reminding people how wonderful love is.
For my husband, we had a printed eulogy with photos as a handout. We were able to send digital copies to those who could not attend. To all the medical people involved we sent printed eulogies with a thank you note. My mother was in assisted living. We posted her eulogy on her door. The most common response was, I wish we had known that while she was alive. At my husbands service we had a dvd with 225 photos that played quietly during the service.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your writing about him was beautiful. One suggestion (likely less relevant in Manhattan) - have someone stay at the home of the family during the publicly published services. Sadly, people read these notices and then rob the family home (beyond heinous but happened to close friends)
Adding my condolences on the loss of your sweet stepdad. My dad died on the first night of Hannukah just prior to Covid and the rawness is just dissipating now. I read Memorial Days in time to ‘zoom’ in from Toronto wondering how you’d keep it together so soon after Howard’s death and was not surprised you weren’t there. Thanks for this guide which would’ve helped me a few years ago and will, thankfully yet sadly, in the future.
I love that you shared this. Incredibly helpful. I can also highly recommend pre-planning and pre-paying for the funeral. It doesn't matter how old, in good health or not, making choices ahead of time is ALWAYS easier. It takes some of the big decisions off your plate when you're feeling your worst. And the details can always be amended.
What a kind, generous guide for you to share. Hope you find comfort from your family and friends as you grieve your stepfather (who sounds so lovely, from what you’ve said about him.) May his memory be for a blessing.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You are, as ever, using it to make the world a better place—one to-do list at a time.
Thank you for sharing this. It will be very helpful to many people. I will point out that there is quite a lot involved in dealing with the mortuary after someone has died -- which may include buying a casket, plot and/or crypt. That is why it is so much easier if people do pre-planning so their mourning loved ones do not have to figure out the other issues in addition to your already challenging list. And as distressing as it may be, at least in California, there are mortuaries which have the cheaper caskets and the more expensive caskets in different rooms. People who pre-plan are taken into both rooms. If a family comes in to choose a casket when there has been no pre-planning and their loved one has died, they only get taken into the room with the expensive caskets.
I also want to mention how I thought your love letter to/about Howard after his death was magnificent. Thank you so much for reminding people how wonderful love is.
I am so sorry for your and your family's loss. May his memory be for a blessing ✡️
So sorry for your loss. I love that you wrote and shared this—perfect example of turning sadness and loss into a way to help other people.
Thoughtful and generous as always. Sending hugs and condolences dear Zibby♥️
For my husband, we had a printed eulogy with photos as a handout. We were able to send digital copies to those who could not attend. To all the medical people involved we sent printed eulogies with a thank you note. My mother was in assisted living. We posted her eulogy on her door. The most common response was, I wish we had known that while she was alive. At my husbands service we had a dvd with 225 photos that played quietly during the service.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your writing about him was beautiful. One suggestion (likely less relevant in Manhattan) - have someone stay at the home of the family during the publicly published services. Sadly, people read these notices and then rob the family home (beyond heinous but happened to close friends)
I am deeply sorry for your loss. The love and admiration you carry for Howard is incandescent. Sending you every good wish.
Adding my condolences on the loss of your sweet stepdad. My dad died on the first night of Hannukah just prior to Covid and the rawness is just dissipating now. I read Memorial Days in time to ‘zoom’ in from Toronto wondering how you’d keep it together so soon after Howard’s death and was not surprised you weren’t there. Thanks for this guide which would’ve helped me a few years ago and will, thankfully yet sadly, in the future.
I love that you shared this. Incredibly helpful. I can also highly recommend pre-planning and pre-paying for the funeral. It doesn't matter how old, in good health or not, making choices ahead of time is ALWAYS easier. It takes some of the big decisions off your plate when you're feeling your worst. And the details can always be amended.
Sending love and light to your family.
You've made a wonderful resource for all.
Sending you peace, light, and love.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for this….such a helpful guide.
What a kind, generous guide for you to share. Hope you find comfort from your family and friends as you grieve your stepfather (who sounds so lovely, from what you’ve said about him.) May his memory be for a blessing.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I am actually planning a Celebration of Life for my father, who passed away a few weeks ago. So helpful.