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Jacquelyn MItchard's avatar

Years ago, I read an interview with James Taylor. Now, there are things in James Taylor's life I don't admire, but he is a wonderful artist who cleaned up his life and established good relationships with his children. He once said something profound to one of his children who complained about his travel schedule. He said, "Dad loves his work." That meant so much to me. I was able then to explain to my own children that I would never ever leave my best beloveds except for something very important, something that mattered so much I would be miserable without it. In my case, it's my writing. And thereby, I gave them permission to grow up and do something they love, even if it means occasionally having to disappoint people they love even more. I gave them permission to leave me, when it's time, with the understanding that it's never forever.

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Saralee Rosenberg's avatar

As a mother of three children, now adults with families of their own, I too sweated out my publishing career while trying to micromanage their young lives. And here is what I know for sure. If I had spent as much time enjoying them as I did worrying about them we all would have been better off. If I had understood that they were proud of me instead of thinking they hated me for leaving on a book tour, my eczema would have eased. If I had appreciated the independent streaks they were developing instead of criticizing their methods they would have enjoyed greater self esteem. And mostly if I had not woken up every day on a guilt trip I would have experienced the euphoria I felt but feared would make me look selfish. So take my word. They will be fine. You will be fine. And one day perhaps you too will be reading to a precious grandchild when their mom or dad says with pride, “Did you know Gigi writes books? Only hers are way better.”

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