Thank you for writing what many of us are feeling.
My heart broke for all the victims but I was extra distraught when I found out that Julia Hyman and Wesley were both Jewish. Maybe it's because of Oct. 7, maybe it's because there are so few of us. These women were so young; they were role models in their careers and loved and treasured by so many. May G-d wrap His love around their souls, and family and friends left behind. 🙏🏼
Zibby, I am so sorry for your loss. For our loss. Our collective losses.
The conversation I keep having: how DO we keep creating, keep giving, keep hoping, keep trusting after each and every loss? There have been so many.
For me, the answer is always community. That's what I read in your words every week. Thank you. When we all reach out to each other, as you have done here, we are not alone. We can grieve together. And lean on each other. When we can experience all the emotions together--without criticism--we can help each other reclaim hope.
Zibby, your somehow finding words when there are no words - finding words for intolerable losses and the resulting horrendous grief - seems to come right out of your soul. Which along with your depth and connection with all of humanity - is HUGE. In my very humble opinion, you are right - it is your calling, though it is so awful that your gifts of connection and finding words for the wordless are necessary so often. But they are now - please keep writing and posting. Your warmth and wisdom are a source of comfort, a kind of blessing.
Every point in your post is spot-on and so well articulated - but these sentences need to be screamed from everywhere:
Free speech is one thing. Hate speech is another. We have to change the rules before our civilization is completely destroyed. There have to be consequences for doing what we learned in preschool is wrong. There has to be a refresher course on the difference between right and wrong, good and evil. Make it part of the driver’s license test or passport renewal.
Zibby you are magical your words now do the same for me as reading did for you . I did not know Wesley but now I feel as if I do and am aching for all of those who knew her . Thank you
As a writer, you always have words. As a human being with a heart as big as the love of words, you have no words. Please know how much I appreciate it when you relay your experiences to us, Zibby. You are treasured, you are beloved, you are respected, you are loved.
Beautifully written Zibby. Condolences to Wesley's family and friends. Since when do people allow themselves to be so overtly mean? So lacking in empathy? So bloodthirsty? It's inexplicable.
Zibby, Thank you for your thoughtful, truth telling article. I am so astonished by Maya Sulkin's reporting and find it unfathomable and absolutely revolting that people are celebrating Wesley's murder. I want Evan and their kids to know that I along with hopefully millions and millions of people stand with them in their sorrow, grief and devastating loss. Regardless of someone's political views or faith, we are all humans and deserve to be treated with kindness and dignity. My thoughts and prayers are going to all of the families whose loved ones were murdered in this tragedy.
I feel your pain and fear. I appreciate you don't want me to be sorry for your loss but for the bigger loss. How can we make this better? We can't make it perfect but better would help. We've watched mental health facilities close and then reel from the damage caused by people with mental health problems. We watch guns go from hunting tools or rural self protection to signs of machismo. How is it possible this is too hard to fix in the United States?
I have no words. Sending love to you. Thank you for stepping into this role of documenting the horror. It seems that this is part of our jobs as writers. We can articulate what others feel
As always, heartfelt and poignant. Thank you for sharing your words. Sending you a virtual hug and love to all who feel these and losses. We need to take care of our hearts❤️
Zibby, I’ve followed your writing and podcast for a while. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the tragedy and being a beautiful writer who can articulate with such an economy of words.
I am a very optimistic person, because, it’s the only way that works for me. But things like the senseless loss of your friend’s life have no optimism about it. I abhor the phrase ‘everything happens for a reason’ because, it’s not true. And she is not ‘in a better place’ because of it, certainly too soon.
I live in Texas, near the horrific flooding where all those precious girls were lost a full month ago. I didn’t know any of their families personally, but, through various degrees of separation. But not one day goes by that I don’t tear up about them. Just two nights ago, at an author dinner, a woman beside me from Arizona said she was a lawyer. Her comment on the flooding was that ‘there will be lots of lawsuits’, like a wolf licking its chops. Her callous ability to reduce their lives down to the opportunity for her to practice her profession and profit made me furious. But of course, I said nothing.
Like you, I am worn to the bone on bullying – all types. People press and justify their perceived right to say anything they want, I believe, often with intent to intimidate or silence an opposing view. I’m with you that something needs to change with what we label as ‘sharing’ and this contagion of spewing vitriol at people as if they aren’t mothers, daughters, someone’s friend. How can the ability to speak that way about another human not be poisonous to their own mind?
Thank you for writing what many of us are feeling.
My heart broke for all the victims but I was extra distraught when I found out that Julia Hyman and Wesley were both Jewish. Maybe it's because of Oct. 7, maybe it's because there are so few of us. These women were so young; they were role models in their careers and loved and treasured by so many. May G-d wrap His love around their souls, and family and friends left behind. 🙏🏼
Zibby, I am so sorry for your loss. For our loss. Our collective losses.
The conversation I keep having: how DO we keep creating, keep giving, keep hoping, keep trusting after each and every loss? There have been so many.
For me, the answer is always community. That's what I read in your words every week. Thank you. When we all reach out to each other, as you have done here, we are not alone. We can grieve together. And lean on each other. When we can experience all the emotions together--without criticism--we can help each other reclaim hope.
May her memory be a blessing.
Our collective losses are the perfect words to describe this, we have so many. Even if the loss is not directly connected, we still grieve it.
Zibby, your somehow finding words when there are no words - finding words for intolerable losses and the resulting horrendous grief - seems to come right out of your soul. Which along with your depth and connection with all of humanity - is HUGE. In my very humble opinion, you are right - it is your calling, though it is so awful that your gifts of connection and finding words for the wordless are necessary so often. But they are now - please keep writing and posting. Your warmth and wisdom are a source of comfort, a kind of blessing.
Every point in your post is spot-on and so well articulated - but these sentences need to be screamed from everywhere:
Free speech is one thing. Hate speech is another. We have to change the rules before our civilization is completely destroyed. There have to be consequences for doing what we learned in preschool is wrong. There has to be a refresher course on the difference between right and wrong, good and evil. Make it part of the driver’s license test or passport renewal.
Zibby you are magical your words now do the same for me as reading did for you . I did not know Wesley but now I feel as if I do and am aching for all of those who knew her . Thank you
As a writer, you always have words. As a human being with a heart as big as the love of words, you have no words. Please know how much I appreciate it when you relay your experiences to us, Zibby. You are treasured, you are beloved, you are respected, you are loved.
Beautifully written Zibby. Condolences to Wesley's family and friends. Since when do people allow themselves to be so overtly mean? So lacking in empathy? So bloodthirsty? It's inexplicable.
Thank you for these words, Zibby. I appreciate you.
Zibby, Thank you for your thoughtful, truth telling article. I am so astonished by Maya Sulkin's reporting and find it unfathomable and absolutely revolting that people are celebrating Wesley's murder. I want Evan and their kids to know that I along with hopefully millions and millions of people stand with them in their sorrow, grief and devastating loss. Regardless of someone's political views or faith, we are all humans and deserve to be treated with kindness and dignity. My thoughts and prayers are going to all of the families whose loved ones were murdered in this tragedy.
I feel your pain and fear. I appreciate you don't want me to be sorry for your loss but for the bigger loss. How can we make this better? We can't make it perfect but better would help. We've watched mental health facilities close and then reel from the damage caused by people with mental health problems. We watch guns go from hunting tools or rural self protection to signs of machismo. How is it possible this is too hard to fix in the United States?
Zibby, I am so very sorry. I cannot imagine the depth of your feelings. May the memory of her kindness bring you peace.
I have no words. Sending love to you. Thank you for stepping into this role of documenting the horror. It seems that this is part of our jobs as writers. We can articulate what others feel
As always, heartfelt and poignant. Thank you for sharing your words. Sending you a virtual hug and love to all who feel these and losses. We need to take care of our hearts❤️
Thank you for saying all this. I work there and I just feel frozen in that night.
Such powerful writing, Zibby. Thank you for awakening in us a deeper understanding.
Thank you for calling out the intentional starvation of the hostages. It seems like the world is damning the victims instead of the murderers.
Zibby, I’ve followed your writing and podcast for a while. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the tragedy and being a beautiful writer who can articulate with such an economy of words.
I am a very optimistic person, because, it’s the only way that works for me. But things like the senseless loss of your friend’s life have no optimism about it. I abhor the phrase ‘everything happens for a reason’ because, it’s not true. And she is not ‘in a better place’ because of it, certainly too soon.
I live in Texas, near the horrific flooding where all those precious girls were lost a full month ago. I didn’t know any of their families personally, but, through various degrees of separation. But not one day goes by that I don’t tear up about them. Just two nights ago, at an author dinner, a woman beside me from Arizona said she was a lawyer. Her comment on the flooding was that ‘there will be lots of lawsuits’, like a wolf licking its chops. Her callous ability to reduce their lives down to the opportunity for her to practice her profession and profit made me furious. But of course, I said nothing.
Like you, I am worn to the bone on bullying – all types. People press and justify their perceived right to say anything they want, I believe, often with intent to intimidate or silence an opposing view. I’m with you that something needs to change with what we label as ‘sharing’ and this contagion of spewing vitriol at people as if they aren’t mothers, daughters, someone’s friend. How can the ability to speak that way about another human not be poisonous to their own mind?