Sophie Kinsella
Devastated. Feel like I just lost a friend.
The author Sophie Kinsella (real name: Madeleine Sophie Wickham) has passed away as reported on her Instagram.
You’ve probably read her books; she has sold 50 million+ copies of her Shopaholic series and others. I’ve been obsessed with her books forever and think I’ve read every single one. Her comedy, vulnerability, voice and personality drew me in to Becky’s character in the Shopaholic series but really to Sophie Kinsella, the person. Who was she?! I was such a fan. I had to know more. That inner monologue? Obsessed.
When I first interviewed Sophie about her novel Love Your Life on October 30th, 2020, my heart was racing. Interviewing my idol! I didn't want to mess up. Of course my computer malfunctioned and I had to speak to her from my daughter’s room. She was escaping the evening bath and bed for her kids, so we had a quick interlude, two moms catching up. She was gracious, funny, and an immediate friend.
(Episode here and YouTube below. Transcript here.)
Then I interviewed her again on October 18th, 2024 about her devastating diagnosis and illness which she wrote about in What Does It Feel Like.
(Episode here. Transcript here.)
Here are a few things she said that you need to read.
On writing through her illness:
“I woke up in hospital. I had no memory of why I was there. I was handing my life over to medical professionals and having to just listen to them, understand what was going on. But do you know what? In the book, when I was writing fiction, I was in charge. I was back in the driving seat, and I could tell the story as I wanted to tell it. I could make sense of it. I could create an optimistic narrative. And all of that was really comforting and cathartic. I also was able to make myself laugh. And all the way through, I’ve tried to laugh whenever I can, because I do think it is the best medicine. I really do.”
“I live in uncertainty and that’s a very tough, tough place to live in. But by turning some of my thoughts into a funny scene in a book, that makes me happy. That makes me happy.”
On appreciating simple pleasures:
“You get a diagnosis, then you make your bucket list, then you go and meet a celebrity, or you swim with the dolphins, or you trek up a mountain, and these are going to create amazing memories for you and for the people that you’re with. And I found that I just resisted that kind of a thing.”
“Everything that my husband would suggest to me, I’d be like, ‘well, no, I don’t really want to do that.’ And I felt like a spoilsport, you know. I need to be putting on my Lycra and climbing up Everest. But really what I wanted to do is just lead my life, but just make it a bit nicer.”
“I don’t need to be doing the big, grand stuff, you know, give me just a little treat. I mean, one of my treats that I give myself is that I love things that smell lovely. So I’ll have like pillow spray or I’ll have a scented body lotion and I’ll treat myself to something small that really does impinge on my life but isn’t dramatic, doesn’t require me to get on a plane. It’s just a small pleasure and I really do find this a valuable way to go about it.”
“I think we can all just increase our quality of life incrementally with just a little treat here, a little treat there. And what I’ve really learned is that you can make your life better by just framing it, by just appreciating it, by just going over the day.”
On mindfulness and gratitude:
“I used to kind of scoff at mindfulness because I remember going to a mindfulness class once and we all had to look at a raisin and kind of try to kind of engage with the raisin. And I didn’t really, respond to that.”
“But I find coming to it through — this is going to sound really corny — but coming to it through gratitude, just being really grateful for the lovely thing that you had, whether it’s a conversation, a friend, just even being British, a good weather day, will suffice. You know, it didn’t rain. Or, you know, in my case, a lovely cup of tea.”
On leaving her children:
“You can feel guilty for having had bad luck because you had children and you were supposed to protect them. You were supposed to be there for them. And so the idea that you may not be there for them is just really hard. It’s the hardest bit about this whole experience has been the idea that I might not be around for them. And I still find it really, really hard.”
“But that was the hardest thing in the hospital. People used to keep exclaiming — because I have five children, which is a lot — and I remember in the hospital, everybody who heard this would exclaim, ‘five children!’ And I would feel like saying, ‘yes I know, I know, it’s awful, don’t remind me! I have five children and I also have this disease, thanks for rubbing it in.’”
“When I first got told that I was very ill, I had this kind of irrational response in my brain. It was like, ‘but I have five children. Sorry, no, you’ve got this wrong because I’m a mother of five. So I can’t have the bad disease. So could you move along to someone else?’ Because I just felt it’s impossible. I’ve got to be here and there’s no two ways about it.”
“All I can do is just hope that I have prepared them, that they are in good shape, that we have a good family support system, and that it will be okay.”
We will all miss you and your words forever.
Sending love and prayers to her family and friends — and to all of you out there who felt like you knew her. We all did.
Don’t let anyone tell you that ageing isn’t something to be immensely proud of, and that every year notched up isn’t a privilege.
Today I was having a bit of a rough day and feeling a bit sorry for myself when I heard the news that put everything into perspective.
That global best selling author Sophie Kinsella had died aged 55.
It hit me hard not only as I’m in my 50s so it seemed so untimely and so unfair but also because Maddy, as I knew her, was a friend at school - I still have a poem she wrote me for my 18th birthday.
While we went our separate ways and lost touch during the Uni years, I have watched her stellar writing career with awe. I knew her as a witty, super intelligent, good at everything (music, sport, academic) and simply a lovely person. But she was also a Mum of five, a wife, a sister and I’m sure much loved by all those who met her, and those who enjoyed her books.
Another reminder that every day, however hard, is a privilege and that the power of words can reverberate around the world and bring joy to so many people (her books sold to 50 million people in 60 countries around the world!)
RIP Sophie - my heart goes out to your family and your sisters x
What a stunningly eloquent interview, Zibby, and so poignant after her passing. I adored Sophie’s novels for their simplicity and relatable moments… I adore you for your honesty and sincerity always. And, oh to have been in the room when you and she met. That would have been a popcorn worthy event!