This essay is part of the Between Chapters project, inspired by the book. What chapters are you between? How did you get from one chapter to another? Share your story here.
What Chapter Are You…
Leaving:
Full-time work.
In:
Dragged into retirement kicking and screaming.
Entering:
Not currently employed (i.e., retired).
I refuse to think of myself as retired, preferring the phrase “presently unemployed.” At 74 years old, I’ve finally accepted that full-time employment is unlikely to be in my future. But I’m still hoping for a few more decades of intellectual stimulation and social connection, the kind that came naturally during my working years.
In search of something new that might keep me vital and active, I turned first to my friends.
“Mahjong,” said Beth. “It’s social, it’s stimulating — it’s perfect.”
“Canasta,” Laurie advised. “It’s fun and it’s easy.”
But games have never been my thing. My ex-husband and I played a lot of bridge while he was in business school. I wasn’t crazy about the game, but it was an inexpensive way to spend an evening with friends. Whenever I played, though, I would notice my heart racing, my muscles tensing, and my jaw clenching. I was always terrified of making a mistake and letting my teammate down. Thankfully, my bridge days ended when he graduated.
So I cast a wider net. In a decidedly unscientific poll, I created a post asking the members of a Facebook group for women over 60 what they were doing to keep themselves sharp. To my surprise, I received almost 500 responses.
Some women embraced adventures my back could not survive: motorcycle trips on Route 66, zip-lining, scuba diving, surfing, even rappelling down waterfalls. I admired their courage from a safe distance.
A number of women in my poll had chosen this time of life to go back to school and earn graduate degrees. They stressed that they were doing so for personal fulfillment, not to advance themselves economically. I was especially admiring of the woman pursuing a master’s degree in aerospace law.
I was amused by the unexpected popularity of the ukulele. Apparently, it’s forgiving on aging hands, and if Dick Van Dyke could learn it at 97, maybe there’s hope for the rest of us.
Unsurprisingly, no one in my poll mentioned cooking. I expect women of my generation have already spent quite enough time at the stove, thank you.
Even before I conducted my survey, I had decided to return to the writing seminar that was pivotal to my life in my 30s and 40s. So, for me, the women who chose to write provided the most inspiration. Take, for instance, the 74-year-old woman who had recently published her third mystery novel. Or the retired doctor who began writing romance novels after retiring in her 70s.
I still don’t expect you’ll find me at a mahjong table on Tuesday afternoons. But my survey reminded me that retirement doesn’t have to mean giving up. There are books to write, classes to take, music to learn, people to meet, and perhaps even a ukulele with my name on it.
I began this search wondering how to stay engaged and vital. I finished it realizing that growing older doesn’t mean running out of possibilities. It simply means choosing among new ones.
Follow Nancy Intrator on Substack.
Nancy-Well done.So can write as well as act!
It looks like we've been writing about similar things.
This essay struck a chord for me. Really nice writing, and I loved the humor.